That's right folks. I can, and will, marry you according to state law. For a long explanation of my own personal beliefs, please refer to my "Metaesthetics" pages. There I will delineate in full my own philosophy of morals, knowledge and consciousness. It is very heavily based in art and the creative spirit of mankind. Here I will simply reveal my desire to marry people. First and foremost, mostly friends and family prefer to have me officiate their wedding. They know me and like the fact that someone they know and trust will preside over this ceremony. Really, my part is small compared the bride and groom!
I really do enjoy writing the sermon to the ceremony that will marry two people. I get to finally use my degree in philosophy for something! It allows me to hone my skills as a writer and create the best ceremony that matches the style of the bride and groom. Some of my friends have written their own vows, others have asked me to include certain aspects of their life, or to mention someone or something and I love that! It makes the whole event personal. After all, this is a marriage license- not a driver's license!
Just to put your minds at ease, NY State (as do most states) requires a marriage certificate to be signed by an "officiant" and two witnesses. So long as that criteria is met, I will marry you. Therefore, I cannot marry outside of the law. If a gay couple wants me to marry them, I can only perform a "commitment ceremony". The law has the final say- I'm a mere mortal. But if you are indeed legally marriable, I can do it! And if you ask what qualifications have I to perform a marriage, I would have to reply "the same qualifications that a musician has to make music."
I will only perform non-religious weddings. I don't even like having "God" in the sermon but if it is requested, I can refer abstractly to God. But please understand that I am not a religious person and I am not an actor. To me, this is a very real, personal and honest event that is taking place. If you require that the "eyes of the lord" cast their blessing upon this ceremony, clearly, I am not the person to marry you. But if you wish to have a very intimate, personal and significant ceremony that isn't diluted in religion and superstition, I would be honored to perform the deed.
Many references upon request. ;)
Christina and Chauncy
August 22nd, 2009 at 4 PM
East Setauket, NY
We meet here today on August 22, of 2009 to celebrate the marriage of Michael and Christina. And so as we gather here together, we understand that this is not just a private affair but a convention of a very public nature. As we, their friends and family, witness this event, we are the ones that make this day special because it is our acknowledgement of their promise to each other. The observance of love is not unlike a beautiful painting; it must be seen to be appreciated and so we are here today, invited by these two before us, to make real publicly what they already know privately.
I had met Michael and Christina a few months ago and it was immediately apparent to me that not only were they on the same page, but that they've been writing the same book for years. In fact, they probably began to co-authore this book before they even knew it- or knew each other. And so when they asked me to perform this ceremony, I was only too honored to oblige.
Billy and Vicky
October 25th, 2008 at 12:30 PM
Rocky Point, NY
I’d like to thank everyone for being here, on behalf of Billy and Vicky, they really appreciate your love and support and are thrilled to share this day with you. Today, October 25th, William Kowalczyk and Vicky Vincenti will celebrate their wedding day. And we, as friends and family, will not only make this day memorable for them, but we will make this day happen because marriage is not a private affair; It is a social convention. It is true that Billy and Vicky announce their undying love for one another today. It is true that they will say their vows and accept each other as their one true love. But it is us, their friends and family that acknowledge this- that make it valuable- It is all of us here today on October 25th, that not only witness this event, but as observers of this ceremony, we actually make it something special. Billy and Vicky are bringing their two families together and as one whole family, we all recognize, approve and support this union.
Bud and Theresa
August 23rd, 2008, 6:30 PM
Shorham, NY
I’d like to thank everyone for being here, on behalf of Bud and Theresa, they really appreciate your love and support and are thrilled to share this day with you. If ever there were such a beautiful day that equalled its significance, this is that day. August 23rd, 2008, Vincent Spadola and Theresa Starke will celebrate their wedding day. And we, as friends and family, will not only make this day memorable for them, but we will make this day happen because marriage is not a private affair; It is a social convention. It is true that Bud and Theresa announce their undying love for one another today. It is true that they will say their vows and accept each other as their one true love. But it is us, their friends and family that acknowledge this- that make it valuable- It is all of us here today, August 23rd, that not only witness this event, but as observers of this ceremony, we actually make it something special.
Bud and Theresa fell in love years ago. Their relationship has evolved thus far and it will continue to grow into the future. They will have peace of mind in knowing that the other will always be there for them- that they can lean on the other and provide strength to the other. No matter what happens in this world- be it bills, be it health, be it change- they will always have each other.
Chris and Coleen
July 18, 2008, 7 PM
West Meadow Beach
We are gathered here to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love and to add our best wishes to the words that shall unite Chris and Coleen in marriage. The family and close friends that are present here today have supported and blessed Chris and Coleen in many different ways. For that the bride and groom express their deepest gratitude. With the horizon as our only walls, the sky our only only ceiling and the earth as our floor, we meet here in nature to affirm their love.
Chris and Coleen have chosen to incorporate the ancient Celtic ritual of handfasting into their wedding ceremony today. They will join hands to form an infinity circle, symbolizing the entirety of the universe as represented in their relationship.
Know, before you go any further, that since your lives have crossed in this life, you have formed eternal and sacred bonds. As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real the ideals that to you, give meaning to this ceremony and to the institution of marriage. With full awareness, know that you are not only declaring your intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but that you speak that intent also to the universal powers. The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your union and will cross the years.